After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Use "feeling words"
Yay
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
