Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
