Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Semen is not good for contacts.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I just want to make out with him forever
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
