hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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