ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
