I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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