he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
