why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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