So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Randomize
