so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
