lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
