He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
