I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
you never un-have a 4some
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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