I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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