i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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