I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
