New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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