Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
50% drunk capacity currently
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
