Where is the hickey?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
