Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
