He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
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