I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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