Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
