your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
