I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize