The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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