I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
