I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Michael Bay diarrhea
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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