its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
