Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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