Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
