I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
