But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
