it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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