Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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