he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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