Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
