Sponge bath it is.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
