Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Randomize
