your room smells of hookers.
And success
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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