YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
