4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
