cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Randomize
