Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
