i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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