its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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