i don't like sucking hair
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I just had sex on a roof
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
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