wanna go halves on a baby?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
