hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
