summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
