I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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