Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
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