I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
