I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
