this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
