I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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