Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
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