We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
