I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
