I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
You are a booty call, not a friend.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
