I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
