is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
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