Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Randomize
