I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
he puts the penis in happiness.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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