got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
There's always time for handjobs
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
