I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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